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someone by ~daimy:icondaimy:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open


i don't want to be a history
lost or unnoticed among others
i don't want to have a story
that keeps me from being another

i don't want to sleep every night
and wake every morning so tired
i don't want to die just one time
dying to know why-

i don't want to sit in my room
and wait for anything to change
i want to make a story
that keeps me from being others

i don't want to fear every dream
hate and cry in my sleep
i want to die just one day
knowing that i won't notice-

i want to die just one day
knowing that i will finish it
and that you will notice.
©2006-2009 ~daimy
:icondaimy:

Author's Comments

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:iconblissful-nightmares:
~blissful-nightmares Jul 4, 2006, 10:08:22 AM
The feeling is strong but i think structure in your pieces is something you could work on. In this one i think it would help if you were to decide whether or not you really want it to rhyme. . at the beginning it does but as you continue you lose it. I think you could possibly revisit this and choose what kind of structure you would like it to have, either rhyming or not im sure would do very well but i think it would be positive if you were to choose one or the other.

--
- b - n -

98% of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2% that wants to punch 'em, put this in your sig.
:icondaimy:
~daimy Jul 4, 2006, 10:23:41 AM
i didn't even realize it rhymed at the beginning xD . i didn't do it on purpose :P . okay, thanks, i'll see what i do..
:iconblissful-nightmares:
~blissful-nightmares Jul 4, 2006, 1:35:27 PM
haha. . thats interesting. . lol. . well. . good luck anyway :)

--
- b - n -

98% of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2% that wants to punch 'em, put this in your sig.
:iconlady-virgil:
~Lady-Virgil Jul 7, 2006, 5:20:28 PM
Wow, I really liked. There's something so sweet about your words, I just enjoy reading them so.
:iconjessedee:
~jessedee Jul 7, 2006, 10:43:54 PM
that's why I love your poems. they flow so nicely and are usually so powerful and emotional.

--
If you cannot be a poet, be the poem
~~[ [link] ]~~
~~ My WEBSITE ----> [link] ~~
:icondaimy:
~daimy Jul 9, 2006, 8:37:14 AM
sweet? you think? well, thank you. =)
:icondaimy:
~daimy Jul 9, 2006, 8:40:51 AM
they flow nicely? wow. thank you :heart:.
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